Addendum for the humor impaired:
This segment of the website is intended as SATIRE
and not to be taken seriously. Please do not attempt
to use beads in any of the manners suggested if common
sense dictates it could cause harm to people, animals
or property. If you have no common sense to rely on,
then just don't do it. It's probably a bad idea.
FYI - No Wonky Beads were harmed in the making of
this website. Not even one.
So, call off the Association for Prevention of Cruelty
to Wonky Beads!